The Two Almost Heros of Kingdom Hearts
by ketariandlorwen
Summary: Alright, Ketari (The Zexion girl who loves wolves), And Lorwen (The psycho Vexen fangirl) are transported to Castle Oblivion by a rouge closet. Involves Adorable Hamsters, hugging Vexen (that oughta be good) and much more! Much better then summary....
1. Bad Walter! BAD!

Katari: Okay, first off, Lorwen and I don't own KH. This story is a collaboration between us, so chapters will alternate authors.

Lorwen: Stop saying big words. Your gonna confuse them.

Katari: We know this plot is severely overused, but frankly, we don't care. There isn't a rule that says we can't do a story like this, so flamers… bug off.

Lorwen: Wow, Wolvy-san, I've never heard you threaten anyone like that! claps

* * *

**_Katari Point Of View (POV)_**

I gazed out of the window for a moment, my thoughts trailing off again for the thousandth time that day. I was a huge daydreamer, and, of course, I had to daydream while operating a sewing machine…

"Brittney, look out!"

Danielle spoke up at just the right time. I pulled my hands away from the little machine, just before they would have been sewn together.

"Baka… pay more attention to what your doing."

I nodded and laughed harshly. "Gomen… I just… wasn't looking."

"And I thought I was the clueless one."

I grinned and looked back at my work. I was trying in vain to sew an Organization-style coat for Halloween, but the shiny pleather fabric I bought wasn't cooperating.

"This is impossible," I lamented abruptly.

"No kidding. Lego is being mean to me…" Danielle replied. 'Lego' was actually Legolas, the pansy Lord of the Rings elf she was going to be for Halloween. But it seemed her costume was being uncooperative too.

"Let's do something else," I suggested.

"Like what?"

"Kingdom Hearts, maybe…?"

Danielle's eyes lit up. "Hai! Let's do that."

We strode over to the living room where my Playstation 2 was located. Every time I came to Danielle's house she made me bring it over.

We turned it on, and for half a moment stood fixated by the pretty green light on the reset button. But soon we overcame it and listened to the sleepy menu music.

Kingdom Hearts was by all means my favorite game. I'd fallen in love with it the first time I played it. Then I had one of those obsessions too. I'd dream about it being real, having adventures like that. I felt like I was on my very own little Destiny Islands, and I wanted to get off of it more than anything.

I took up the controller, but Danielle smacked it out of my hand.

"What the hell, aiya! I cried out, perhaps a little too loudly.

"You took the controller away from Walter!" she sobbed.

I raised a brow. "Walter…?"

"Yeah! He's my new imaginary friend!"

I sighed. I was amazed at how sugar could turn a thirteen-year-old into a toddler. There was no denying that I was the most serious of my friends, but if I didn't surround myself with crazy people, I'd probably curl up and die of boredom.

"He wants to play."

"Err… okay," I said.

Danielle took the controller and handed it to the spot of air that divided us. She let go of it, and it predictably dropped to the floor.

"Oh… well, I guess he doesn't to play after all…"

We spent the next hour killing off Heartless. Danielle's skills were coming along nicely… but she still took a heavy beating whenever she tried to face Sephiroth, while I beat him for what seemed my fiftieth time. I was really conceited about it, until I died from a measly Shadow Heartless.

"It's not my fault!" I protested. "I didn't know he was behind me, and-"

My objections were drowned out by Danielle's maniacal laughter.

"Lorwen! Stop it!"

But she didn't stop. She just kept on laughing until she could barely breath. "Sorry… Katari-san, but… I can't believe…"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it," I growled moodily. "Do you want to play something else?"

Danielle sat up for a moment, then nodded. "Walter said he wants to play hide and seek!"

"Hide and seek? Your not serious…"

"Yeah, I am. Now come on, he's already hiding."

I nodded. It would be a harmless way to kill a few minutes. "Alright, let's go."

Danielle started. "Hold on." She dashed upstairs and back, an old, holey backpack in her grasp.

"Your backpack of doom? That one you say you took to Middle-Earth?"

"Yep!"

"I still don't know if I believe that whole 'Me and Elanor went to Middle-Earth' story," I said jokingly.

"Believe it," Danielle replied shortly. She walked over to the fridge and began packing her seemingly endless backpack with food.

"What do you need all that for?"

"In case we get lost."

"Come on, your house isn't that big."

Danielle dismissed me and continued packing. "Now let's go find Walter!"

We started on this first floor, but didn't find anything. I was beginning to wonder how you were supposed to see an invisible person.

We looked in cupboards, under couches, even the pool. We started up the narrow stairs, the fake flowers that curled around the banister catching in my messy, dark blonde hair.

"Ouch… uh, maybe he's in your room…?" I suggested.

"Yeah, maybe," Danielle said. "Come on."

We entered her room and were greeting by at least ten Legolas posters, all smiling back at us.

"I knew you were obsessive…"

"Leave me alone!" Danielle pleaded. "Legolas is pretty!"

"Not to mention pansy…"

"He is not!"

"Is too."

"IS NOT!" Danielle shouted. I cowered, then turned towards the closet as I heard something come from it.

"You have to be joking… an imaginary friend can't make noise!" I said.

"Let's go check it out." I slowly opened the closet door, freaked out. It couldn't be possible, could it…?

"EEK!"

I turned and saw Danielle looking mortified. I looked down; and saw something shadowy and dark curl around my legs. "What the-?"

"Brittney! Walter, this isn't funny!"

"I don't think Walter is doing this!" I cried. I felt the shadows wrap around me and draw me to the closet.

"Lory-san… a little help!" I reached out my hand, and Danielle didn't hesitate in taking it. But I couldn't free.

"Dammit! Come on!" she yelled, pulling at my arm painfully. She held on as long as she could, but lost her grasp. I felt the shadow pull me forcefully into the closet, but it seemed they had also captured Danielle. But unfortunately, I blacked out right about then…

((Later))  
"Ugh…" I opened a sleepy eye, my body aching. "Ouchiness…"

I opened my other eye and looked around. I was laying on brick, and next to me…  
"Danielle!"

Danielle was sitting up, tossing a rock up and down casually. "About time you woke up."

"Huh? Where are we? What happened?"

"How should I know?"

I got up and got a better look at things. We were surrounded by brown buildings, neon signs adorning their roofs. Above us the night sky twinkled jadedly.

"This place looks really familiar," I commented.

Danielle shook her head. "It doesn't to me. I mean, it does a little, but not really."

"What happened? The last I remember, that shadow was pulling us into your closest."

"That's what I remember."

I paced around the alleyway, trying to figure things out. "I've been here before… wait… no, no I haven't…"

"Well, have you or haven't you?"

"Both," I said, confusing myself. Danielle just rolled her eyes.

"Here," she said, throwing me a candy bar, and giving herself one. "I told you that backpack would come in handy."

"Your like a boy scout… you always come prepared." Danielle smiled smugly.

"Come on, let's go look around, aiya," I suggested, pulling her off of the barrel she was seated on.

As we walked on, the location got more and more familiar. The brown buildings, the neon signs, even the dark, jaded sky… somehow, I'd been here.

Finally we got to what looked like a town square. Then it hit me… I swayed, and clutched Danielle's arms to keep from fainting with shock.

"Oh my god…"

"Wolvy-san, are you alright?" she asked frantically.

"Danielle… I know where we are…"

"Well, I wish you would share it."

"You don't understand… we… we're in Traverse Town…"

"WHAT!" she screamed. Actually I wasn't too surprised with her reaction.

"I know it sounds crazy, but I'm serious!"

"But Brittney… how!"

"I don't know, aiya!" I sighed and forced myself to calm down. I hung my head… and actually started to laugh. I don't know why, I just did.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing… come on, I think there's a café around here…"

Sure enough we found one, and drank the coffee Danielle had somehow found in her backpack. It kept us from paying, but now I knew why it had taken my dad years to learn how drink coffee black.

"So somehow we got sucked into a videogame, okia?" Danielle said.

"Seems like it, but we weren't anywhere near the Playstation when it happened… Danielle, what are you doing?" I looked across the table, where Danielle was writing on a piece of paper.

"I'm making a list," she said simply. I craned my neck to get a better look. Riku, Zexion, Vexen, Riku Replica, Sephy…

"Of all the people your going to snog? Just take Vexen off the list, he's ugly."

"Is not! Leave him alone!"

"Then take Zexy-sama off the list… he's mine."

"No!"

I got nowhere with the arguing, so I quickly gave up.

"Say Brittney… how do we get to Castle Oblivion from here?"

I choked on my coffee. "You want to go to Castle Oblivion!"

"Yeah, why?"

"It's just…" I lowered my voice to a whisper. "Should we really talk about it here?"

"What do you mean? The people here don't seem to care," Danielle said. I nodded, and went back to my drink.

"Hey Lorwen? … Does anything feel… wrong?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I mean… does everything here… feel fake?"

I was surprised to see Danielle actually thinking about this. "Yeah… actually it does… maybe this is a dream or something… hey look! Their giving out free saki!" She scurried off to the bar.

The next five minutes I spent in silence, but not for long…Hey Ho!

_To the bottle I go  
To heal my heart and drown my woe,  
Rain may fall, and wind may blow,  
But there still be, many miles be still to go  
Oh, sweet is the sound of the pouring rain,  
And the stream that runs from hill to plain  
But better than rain, or rippling brook,  
Is a mug of beer inside this Took!_

I laughed as she finished the song, which I recognized from Lord of the Rings. Would she ever get that movie out of her system?

Suddenly, I saw movements outside the window. I ran to it and peered into the darkness. Carved in the shadows I saw a skinny, cloaked figure, with flaming red hair. And he was coming towards the café.


	2. Who you calling blonde!

Lorwen: Give me a chance! It's only my first chappie!

Ketari: Calm down, aiya. You'll do fine.

Lorwen: Really?

Ketari: laughing Maybe.

Lorwen: You're mean.

Ketari: But not as mean as Axel. Or Sephiroth. Or Marluxia...

Lorwen: What about Ansem?

Ketari: Yeah right!

((both laugh))

BTW, in case you got confused last chapter, here are our nicknames...

Danielle: Lorwen, Lory, Sensi Coocoofachoo, and really nothing else.

Brittney: Ketari, Wolviana, Wolvy, and girl-of-little-bishies

* * *

**_Lorwen POV_**

"Oh my god!"

"What?" I asked, looking up from my 'to snog' list.

"Axel..." She whispered.

"I don't know..." I said, glancing back to the paper in front of me. "He just doesn't fit on the list. He has a temper...and his hair isn't all that shiny..."

"No!" Brittney hissed frantically. She yanked me by the arm and pulled me under the table. "Axel is here!"

"Oh...and why do we need to hide under the table, hm, my toasty friend?" I asked. "He doesn't know who we are!"

"Well, I just don't fell comfortable with him around. And anyways, you don't really know if he is or isn't looking for us." She pointed out. Oh. I knew that.

"I still don't-" My voice was muffled as she quickly slapped her hand over my mouth. I glanced around just to see a familiar organization cloak's hem swish past our table, then stop and turn around.

Then the body bent down, and Axel's face peeked under the table, smiling. "Interesting hiding place, ladies." He said smugly. "Now what are you doing under here? You aren't hiding from _me_ are you?"

I nodded my head quickly up and down, but then Brit glared at me and I began shaking it left and right. But it was to late, Axel's smug smile had just turned into a grin. He then grabbed both of us by the arms, and I did the first thing on instinct. Scream my lungs out.

"Hey!" A waiter shouted. "HEY!" Axel turned and dropped us, pulling out his two wheely-weapon thingies.

"This is personal business, _sir_, and I believe you shouldn't be getting in the way. I won't hurt these girls, hopefully." He then let his weapons vanish and then picked us up again. I tried kicking, but he just laughed as he walked out onto the streets.

"So...what are your names?" Axel asked, walking briskly down the street. Me and Brit had given up fighting long ago, and were now sort of half heartedly being dragged along by Axel.

"Well...I'm Lorwen." I said.

"And I'm Ketari."

"I'll keep those in my memory for future reference." He muttered. I felt scared still.

"Brit!" I whispered.

"Hai?"

"Are we going to die? I don't want to die! I didn't even get to snog Vexen!" I cried, a little too loudly, perhaps.

"Vexen?" Axel looked down at me. "You? Snog...Vexen!" He broke out laughing. Considering my situation I felt quite hurt.

"But I will snog him! You will see! You all will see!" I ranted, causing everyone on the sidewalk to stare, but Axel and Brittney's snickering was not quieted. I just put my head down and glared at the ground. So far my first few hours in Traverse Town were not going as planned.

Axel stopped , and I looked up just as Brittney asked "What are you doing?"

He pulled a card out of his pocket and said "A key to other worlds." And then this huge blue light flashed.

Spots were dancing before my eyes when the light finally cleared. We were in Castle Oblivion!

Me and Brittney jumped out of Axel's grasp and began running around the Entrance Hall frantically.

"Look, Brittney! Real Castle Oblivion walls!" I shouted, running my hands across one of the white walls.

"And a real Castle Oblivion column!" Brittney replied, hugging a column.

"And real Castle Oblivion tile!" I continued, doing a little jig.

"Not to mention...real Castle Oblivion invisible windows!" Brittney said, pointing to an empty space on the wall. We both giggled uncontrollably.

Axel hit his hand against his head. "Why did I even bring you two here? I should've left you, or at least killed you on the spot." Then his eyes lit up. "Or...I can take care of that now..." He summoned his weapons to his hands. I let out a little scream and scurried behind a pillar.

"Wait!" Said Ketari. "Me and Lorwen...we know...we know about Sora!" She shouted, an instant before Axel brought down his weapon on her. He stopped in mid air.

"You know...what!" Axel asked in shock.

"Don't blow our cover!" I whispered frantically.

"Do you want to die?" She whispered back.

"No..."

"Hold on a second...so _that's_ how you knew about Vexen. I had been wondering..." Axel commented.

"Yep." I said, happy now that I wasn't going to die. "Hey, do you have any saki here?" I peered around as though expecting some to pop up out of thin air. This time Brittney brought her hand to her head.

"I'm sorry, Axel-san." Ketari muttered. "My friend...she had a little too much saki at the cafe...I believe it's not out of her system yet..."

"Who are these? Souvenirs you picked up from Traverse town?" A sweet but sarcastic voice asked. Of all people. Larxene.

"I'm not a souvenir!" I shouted out.

"If I remember correctly, _souvenir, _your drunk. I'll let that outburst slide by this once." She turned to Axel. "Axel, what's up with these girls? Get into a bind you shouldn't have?" Larxene teased, winking and then laughing.

"No, wench!" He said. "They...know all about the organization...and the keyblade master." He admitted.

Larxene glanced at us. "Really?"

"You betcha!" I said huffily, twiddling my long blonde hair between my fingers impatiently.

"Hai!" Ketari agreed, nodding her head up and down eagerly.

"Well, what are you going to do with them?" Larxene asked.

Axel sighed, then glanced at us as well. "I don't know...we'll take them to Marluxia as soon as he gets back from Twilight town. They'll be of use to us, trust me."

"Alright." Larxene said. "But you're going to be their baby sitter, not me!" She walked out of the room.

"Baby sitter?" Axel whispered meekly, turning a little pale. Heh, heh, heh. Castle Oblivion was soon going to be eating out of me and Ketari's palms.

* * *

_Another_ Author's Note: 

The backpack of doom DOES hold everything, me and my friend Elanor DID go to Middle Earth, and I DON'T love zexion, like SOME girls I know ((eyes Ketari menacingly))


	3. In which Vexen is hugged by Lorwen

Katari: For the last time, Lorwen, its Katari, not Ketari!

Lorwen: I gave you the nickname, so I get to spell it how I want! Besides, Katari means talking in Japanese.

Katari: Are you implying something?

**_

* * *

_****_Kataris POV_**

"Dont worry, Axel-san, well be good," I assured him. "Besides, Lar-Lar just wants to give you a hard time."

Axels trademark snicker was creeping up again. _"Lar-Lar!"_

Larxene, on the other hand, was not so amused. "Why you little witch!" She lunged at me, but Axel caught her by the hood.

"Calm yourself, Larxene. They're not so bad."

Larxene gave him a look of pure venom, the stalked off moodily.

"Yeah, you just walk off!" Lorwen shouted after her. I could tell Larxene was exercising every ounce of her self-control.

Axel then turned to us, his face harder. "So how much do you know?"

"A lot," Lorwen replied. I nodded and leaned against a column.

"We know all the members who are employed at Castle Oblivion. You, Larxene, Zexion, Vexen, Marluxia, and Lexeaus, "I told him, counting off each member on a finger. "We know there are more members, though, but so far we only know of Xaldin. And we know about Namine, and that Sora and Riku are both in this castle."

Axel seemed to be both impressed and very shocked. "Hmmm how do you know all this?"

"We have our sources," said Lorwen smugly.

"Marluxia will find this interesting wait a minute do you have a nickname for him?"Axels voice seemed very excited.

"Hana-san," I replied quickly. For those of you who dont know any Japanese, hana means flower.

Axel was grinning. "How nice"

"Hold on," Lorwen said abruptly. " How did you know we were here?"

I was wondering when you would ask that. You see, Zexion-

"Caught our scent because we are not figments of either Rikus or Soras memories", I said, "the words spilling out of my mouth without warning."

"Clever," Axel said. "And actually, you are right."

"Axel!"

All three of us turned. Vexen was coming towards us. I immediately grabbed Lorwens arm.

"What is the meaning of this?" He demanded.

"Well, its nice to see you topside, Vexy. And what is the meaning of what?" Axel asked cheekily.

Vexen pointed forcefully at us. All of a sudden, I heard a squeal come from Lorwen.

"Must snog!"

"Lie, Lorwen!" I shouted, shaking her.

"Must snog Vexy-sama!" It took all of my strength to hold her back. Axel was almost doubled up with laughter, while Vexen held a look of complete and utter disgust.

Finally, I lost my grip and crashed to the floor (that concrete is harder than it looks). I looked up and saw Lorwen hugging Vexen very tightly.

"What the-? Get off of me, you pest!"

But Vexens little protests were futile. Lorwen just hugged him tighter, probably tight enough to break ribs.

Axel finally came to the rescue (rather reluctantly) and helped me pry Lorwen off of Vexens midriff. The scientist looked extremely livid.

"Who _is_ that girl!"

"Thats Lorwen," Axel said. "And this is Katari."

"I see but why in hells name are they here?"

"They seem to know a lot about the Organization, and Marluxia may be able to find a use for them."

"I would have killed them on the spot," Vexen said bitterly.

"Yes, well, thats why _I_ retrieved them. Come on you two," Axel said to us. We followed him through many unfamiliar halls, and I was getting very lost. We stopped at two doors.

"These are your rooms for the night," He told us.

"Wow, we get rooms?" Lorwen said happily.

"Wait a minute, its night?" I asked.

"Well, it was night in Traverse Town."

"Its always night in Traverse Town."

Axel groaned and shoved us in the first room and slammed door the behind us.

"I guess he got tired of us talking," Lorwen said.

"What was your first clue?"

Lorwen shrugged and looked around. There was a bed and a closet, but not much else distinguished the room from the rest of the castle. "Not exactly spacious, is it?"

"Lie, it is not. Well, you finally got to glomp Vexen!"

Lorwen grinned widely. "Yeah! But you didnt get to see Zexion!"

This made me feel slightly put out. "Ill get to snog him eventually." I yawned deeply and started towards the other room. "Well, Ill see you in the morning, Lory-san."

**The Next Morning**

Morning finally came, or at least, I think it was morning. This place really needed a few windows. I got up and stretched, wishing that we had bought some new clothes during the short time we were Traverse Town.

"Uhhhh."

I smiled slightly. It seemed Lorwen had gotten up, and it also seemed that she had a splitting hangover.

I went over to her room and grinned at her. "Thats what happens when you drain two bottles of saki, aiya."

She opened up an eye and glared at me. "Your mean, Katari," she groaned. She gave a short look around the room. " Am I still dreaming?"

"Nope."

"Oh so I did snog Vexen" she said sleepily. It took her the good part of an hour to get up and running.

We began walking down the hall and pointing out every little thing, laughing. But then Axel came and ruined our fun. "There you are. Come on, time to see Marluxia." He grabbed us by the arms again, but we wrenched free of his grip.

"We can walk on our own, you know," Lorwen said indignantly.

By the end of our little trip, I got really tired of the white décor. We came to a large room, where Marluxia and Larxene both stood. In the corner I saw Namine with her head down. I felt a painful surge of sympathy for her.

"You have brought the intruders?" Marluxia asked.

"Obviously," Axel replied impatiently.

"Sierra would have loved this," Lorwen whispered in my ear. I grinned.

Marluxia walked up to us and looked us over. "They cant be over fifteen! How can they know so much about us? And they are existent!"

"That is apparent," Axel said.

"How can they be of use to us? Cant we just dispose of them?"

Watching our lives go down the drain was too much for me. " No, you cant dispose of us!"

"Why not?"

"Because we dont just know about the Organization. We know about the heart." I could see Lorwen nodding rapidly beside me.

It seemed I had caught Marluxias attention. "Go on"

"We have researched the heart, and we have read the Ansem Reports."

A wave of silence swept over the room. Even Axel seemed shocked.

"How is that possible? How could-?"

"Its no use asking questions, Hana-san," Lorwen piped up.

"Well this is quite unexpected now we have to spare you"

"Yay!" Lorwen shouted enthusiastically.

"But you cant leave either."

"What!" Lorwen yelled.

"Your options are limited all you can really do is join us."

Larxene looked at Marluxia. "You want _them_ to join! But theyre annoying!"

They are knowledgeable of the heart, perhaps more so than us. They can be of use. So," he said, turning to us and holding out a hand. "Will you join the Organization, or face worse consequences?"

I thought it over; running away from the Organization would be like running away from the Mafia. I shook Marluxias hand, vaguely aware of the fact that I was now shaking hands with a traitor.


	4. Do the hamster dance!

Ketari: Is Zexy-sama going to be in this chappie! Please tell me he's going to be in this chappie!

Lorwen: whistles innocently Hes...mentioned...

Ketari: WHAT'D YOU DO MY BISHIE?

* * *

**_Lorwen POV_**

"Wow!" I breathed as Axel handed us two long black cloaks.

"These" He said dryly. "Are your uniforms. Wear them with these" He stuffed a pair of black boots into our hands too, along with some gloves. He looked us over. "And I wouldn't recommend you ever wear _those_ clothes again."

I laughed as I realized me and Brit had been in the same clothes for at least twenty eight hours. I was in a Green Day shirt with a grenade on it, with capris. Ketari was wearing jeans and a blue Kiba shirt from wolf's rain.

"This is so...COOL!" Rejoiced Brit. "I'm going to go change right away!" She ran over to her room.

"Such Energy" Muttered Axel.

"You've never seen her on coffee." I commented. "That's when you call in the F.B.I."

"The what?"

"Never mind, okia." I said as I slammed my room's door behind me.

I wished there was a mirror in my room, but I think I looked okay in the outfit. Being a blonde, black was really my color.

"How do I look!" Ketari had just ran into my room, spinning around in circle modeling her new outfit.

"Actually...you don't look half bad.." I noted.

"Then how did I look before?" She asked, sounding offended.

"I'm _starving._ Let's go find the kitchen we passed by earlier!" Ketari nodded in agreement, and we scurried out of the room at our top scurrying speeds.

We reached the kitchen in no time, but when we opened the numerous cupboards, all we found were dusty shelves. "This isn't right!" I whined.

"No duh...hey!" Shouted Ketari. "An orange!" Hugging the orange fruit. "We can divide it between us...half and half..."

"You actually found food?" A voice we knew all to well asked from the door.

"Go away Axel! It's our food!" I shouted. He laughed, and tried to grab it from Ketari. We both then tackled him.

It was an unfair match in Axel's case, we won easily. Ketari began peeling the orange as we both seated ourselves and Axel's stomach and chest.

"Oh. I heard some shouts, but it was just you, obviously." Vexen was now standing in the doorway, an unhappy look upon his face. "This is a waste of my time.."

"Vexy-san!" I shouted, jumping up and running over gleefully. I ran behind him and then jumped on his back, wrapping my arms around his neck. I was now hanging on his back, and smiling happily.

"GET OFF OF ME!" He shouted, trying to pull me off.

"Meep!" Shouted Ketari. From my point of view, it seemed that since I had jumped off Axel, he felt unchallenged enough to wrestle Ketari down himself. They were now fighting over the all mighty orange.

"ENOUGH!" A voice shouted. Oh no...Hana-san had found us. I fell off Vexy's back out of surprise and then quickly stood up, brushing myself off.

"I will _not_ have this happening in my establishment." Marluxia continued, a grimace on his face. "You all have to get along...I did you two a _favor_ to let you in this group instead of killing you."

"Yeah right" Ketari muttered under her breath. Marluxia pretended he hadn't heard her.

"Come on, Ketari." I muttered.

"Yeah." Ketari said. "We're going to Traverse Town, to get _real_ food" She tossed the orange to Axel and I picked my backpack off of the floor.

"Wait a second, girls." Said Marluxia, grabbing my shoulder. "You have to take an escort with you."

"What!" I complained, pushing his hand off of me.

"Zexion will accompany you. I'll tell him to meet you in the entrance hall in an hour." Hana-san then pushed us out of the door. "Now us _grown-ups _need to talk." He said, putting an annoying emphasis on the word as he slammed the door in our faces.

Me and Brit both trudged back to my room to go get my backpack. I opened the pack and checked to see how much stuff we had left. But I found no food, nor anything inanimate. I found a small, blond hamster.

"BINKY!" I shouted out.

"What?" Asked Ketari.

"Binky..." I said again, holding up the tiny hamster. He had taken to me quite nicely.

"I didn't know you had a hamster..." She replied slowly.

"I didn't. But I had always wanted one...and to name it Binky..." I smiled as it climbed up my arm and nestled in my hair.

"Whatever...LETS GO SEE ZEXY!" She shouted, running out the door and down the hall. Why was she so hyper right now? This wasn't the ketari I usually knew...

I stood up and followed her out the door, blowing a kiss to vexen as I walked by. He grimaced and walked faster. I laughed. At the moment, life was a nine out of ten.

* * *

Lorwen: See? I told you he was...mentioned.

Ketari: Don't do that, Lory san. You scare me.


	5. In Which Zexion is hugged by Ketari

Katari: Yayness! I get to finally see Zexy-sama! YAY!

Lorwen: I thought I was the crazy one…

Katari: You are. And I don't even like coffee! So how can I get hyper on it?

Lorwen: So that's why your so serious all the time… runs to get coffee

* * *

_**Katari's POV**_

"I had a hamster once," I commented as Lorwen played with Binky, who was now calmly chewing away at her drawstrings. "Actually I had two… and we once had a bird… and cannibalistic fish… and a turtle… and now we have two dogs…"

"Your fish were cannibalistic!" Lorwen exclaimed.

"Yes. That's why we don't have any fish left."

Lorwen got this kind of grimace on her face. "Okay…"

"I wish Zexy-sama would hurry up. I want to get going."

"Yeah… I can't believe we have to go with an escort! We're not little kids!" She exclaimed indignantly.

"I know, but they probably think we'd run off and tell people of their location. At least it's Zexy-  
sama. Better then Lexeaus."

Lorwen nodded, and now was trying to keep Binky from chewing right through her hood.

"Oh!" I shouted abruptly.

"Oh what?"

"We can't go weaponless," I replied, reaching for her endless backpack. Since you could find anything in there, why not a weapon?

"What do you mean?"

"Zexy-sama is the laziest son of a gun you will ever meet. According to him, fighting is not how he does things."

Lorwen snickered and helped me look in her backpack. We found a lot of things that couldn't be used as a weapon, such a Legolas poster, an empty cereal box, a rubber duck (okay, maybe that one could have been used as a weapon), and a Linkin Park CD.

"Too bad we don't have a stereo," Lorwen sighed. "Oh, look at this!" She cried, pulling out two blades that fastened along the arm. "These are cool! Mine!"

"Well, don't keep them out. Make them disappear. It's possible here."Lorwen nodded and made them disappear (and commented on how cool that was).

I had to search longer. Finally, I found something silvery in what I thought was the bottom. But when I brought it up, I found it was a handgun.

"Whoa… uh, well, it'll do," I said. I made it disappear, satisfied. I was not the most athletic person, and it was the kind of weapon that didn't require an athlete.

."Are you ready to go or not?" A hard voice asked. I looked up, and saw Zexion standing in the doorway in all his glory.

I started, really wanting to hug him. I tried to control myself.

"Just do it!" Lorwen whispered.

Unable to stand it any longer, I rushed behind Zexion and hugged him. Although my face was buried in his back, I could hear his muffled protests. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Marluxia handing over munny to Axel.

After a few more precious moments I released my captive. "Gomen, Zexy-sama…"  
He simply glared at me spitefully. I was guessing that he didn't enjoy the embrace as much as I had.

Zexion strode silently over to a random door and held up a card. There was light and a flash, just like before. In a moment's notice, we were in Traverse Town.

I looked around. It didn't feel fake, like it had last time. "Are we in the real Traverse Town, or the one made up of Sora's memories?"

"The real one," Zexion replied dryly.

"Good," Lorwen said. We started off towards a local grocer, Zexion muttering under his breath the entire time.

"Can't believe… why do I have to get stuck with them…"

"It's your own fault, Zexy-sama," I said sweetly. "If you had ignored our scent, we wouldn't have been found, and we wouldn't have joined-"

Lorwen cut me off. "Look!" She squealed, pointing to a figure in the distance. I squinted.

"Hey, it's Leon! Maxxie would have loved this…"

Lorwen nodded, and looked down at her hamster. "Come on Binky, the store is over here."

The grocer was filled to the brim with different kinds of food, including candy.

"It's hard to believe that only an orange was in the kitchen," I commented as I strolled along the frozen food aisle. "Now I know why Axel looks so anorexic!"

Lorwen and I broke into a fit of giggles. Predictably, Zexion didn't.

"Why such the long face, Zexy-sama?" I asked. "I promise, you'll like the ice cream."

"Katari, I think you scarred him for life with that hug," Lorwen whispered.

"So? You hugged Vexen twice! Think of what you've done to his mental state!"

After retrieving Binky from the cracker aisle, we started homeward. But I got this strange feeling on our way back…

"Look out!"

I turned behind me, and saw a Shadow Heartless jumping at my face. I raised my arm, and that handgun simply appeared in my grasp. I pulled the trigger, and the thing dissolved into shadowy darkness.

"Hey! You got it!" Lorwen yelled enthusiastically.

"Yeah… cool!" I said, grinning. Zexion seemed to be slightly pleased, but he didn't say anything. Obviously he wasn't in the mood to talk with me. I can't figure out why, though… perhaps it had something to do with that hug…


	6. In Which Lorwen and Ketari almost die

Lorwen: Ketari?

((silence))

Lorwen: Where arrrre you?

((silence))

Lorwen: DRAT! Well, read on anyways. Im just going to go curl up and die in a corner, unloved and lonely.

* * *

**_Lorwen POV_**

Me and Ketari moped about Castle Oblivion, bored beyond all belief.

"Wanna go see Zexion?" I asked.

"No...he's out of the castle right now..." Ketari said reluctantly.

"Vexen?" Ketari perked up a little bit.

"Yeah," She said. "That would be interesting."

I grinned really big, and then stood up, making sure Binky was still safely resting on top of my head. He enjoyed sleeping, and was usually occupied with it about 22 hours of the day.

Down the halls, we almost got lost, but thanks to the map of the castle Axel-san had been so kind to make for us (even though they looked like a toddler's scribbling. Feh!), we made it to Vexen's chamber. I knocked, but no one answered, so I wandered in .

"Hello?" Ketari asked, but my eyes strayed to the table. There was a small pile of cards...

"Ketari-san! Look!" I rejoiced, holding them up.

"Ready to go on a trip?" I asked, shifting through them slowly. "How about...Olympus Coliseum?"

"Yeah!" Agreed Ketari. "We can see Sephy and Cloud!"

We ran all the way down the halls, bumping into Axel on the way there, but quickly escaping him before he asked us what we were doing.

"We've _got_ to stop bumping into the pyromaniac anorexic psychotic murderer!" Brittney stated as we approached the entrance door.

"After you, Ketari-san!" I said, handing her the card.

"I don't know how to work this!" She handed it back to me. I looked down at it, lost for all words.

"Wait, I know how..." She grabbed the card out of my hands.

"Bossy, bossy, aiya." I muttered moodily.

"My word!" She shouted as she thrust her arm with the card into the air. Blue flash (again) and we were in Olympus Coliseum.

"Alright..." I said, trying to shield my eyes from the hot sun. "Where too first? Sephy-sama or Cloud-san?"

"...Sephy!" Ketari shouted. "It'd be more interesting, anyways. I'd probably just give Cloud mental damage, but Sora still needs him. We can't have that happening."

"Nopers."

"Who are you! What are you doing here!"

"Argh!" I shouted, trying to run backwards, but tripping over something small and hairy.

"Ewww..." Ketari-san commented.

"It's Phil!" I said, rubbing my head and staring at the little...thing.

"Do you know where Sephiroth is?" I said.

Phil looked me over. "Whaddya want him for? I doubt you'll even get within five feet of him before..."

Ketari reached into my backpack and yanked out my planner. "Actually..." She opened it and shoved it into Phil's face. "Young Mrs. Vexen here has a five o'clock appointment with Mr. Death and Doom, so if you don't mind we better get over there soon!"

"Oh, stop playing secretary, Ketari san. It's already six anyways."

"All the more reason we need to get over there!"

"We're late!" I sang, bouncing around. "We're late! For a very important date!"

Phil watched us with a disgusted look upon his face. "Alright, I'll tell you where he is. But only because we need less of _your_ kind here. He's down over there." He pointed down a corridor.

"Whopee!" I shouted, running off.

"This ought to be good." Ketari commented as she followed me.

We came out into a medium sized stadium, where Sephiroth was sitting on a bench and looking around with obvious boredom.

"Hi Sephy-sama!" I waved to him gleefully. He jumped up and pulled out masasume.

"Woah! Don't hurt me!" I said, backing up.

"You're in for it now, aiya." Ketari told me, waving her finger back and forth. I stuck my tongue out.

"What are you two children doing here?" Sephiroth said.

"WE'RE NOT CHILDREN!" Me and Ketari shouted. "WE'RE MEMBERS OF AN ELITE ORGANIZATION OF PYROMANIACS!"

Sephy was still eyeing us carefully. "Well, get out of here then."

"Not yet! I have to do something first!" I said hurriedly. I ran right up to him and hugged him.

"Ack!" He said, trying to brush me off.

I thought I heard Ketari say something like "Oh hell, shes so dead.", but I couldn't be too sure.

I let go after a little bit, and then attempted to skip off, but Sephiroth grabbed me around my neck.

"Hey, okia!" I rasped. "Not fair! Im just a child!"

I heard Ketari's pistol go off, and Sephiroth winced as a bullet went through his wing, and he dropped me.

"Yay!" I shouted, running back to where Ketari was standing.

"I-I-...I shot Sephiroth." She stuttered, looking down at her pistol. "I am soooooo dead."

"Yeppers!" I said, summoning my weapons to my hands. "Let's just hope Legolas will come and save us."

"I give up with you." Ketari muttered. "If Legolas comes and saves us, I'll kiss Lexaus!" I giggled.

"Well, then. I hope my prince arrives soon!" Ketari grimaced .

But our conversation was brought to an end when Sephiroth slashed right inbetween us, forcing us both to jump back. "Meepit!" I cursed. "I _am_ actually going to have to fight!"

Sephiroth then tried to bring his sword down on me, and I brought my weapons up to block it, knocking masasume out of his hands. Ketari ran over and grabbed it.

"Wow, Lory-san! It's so light!" She commented.

"Hey, that's mine!" Sephy said, running over and trying to grab it from her.

"Catch!" She shouted, throwing it to me. I dived and caught it.

"Why you two..." Growled Sephiroth. Instead of running after me though, he began to mutter something...

"Bring down the heartless angel..."

"RUUUUUNNN!" We both shouted, and I dropped the sword and ran as fast as humanely (or elvishly in my case) to the other side of the stadium.

We cowered in the farthest corner. "Oh crud!" Brittney said. "You have a halo over you head!"

"No! I can't die! I have to marry Legolas and Sesshomaru and Sephiroth...strike that! And Vexen." I cried.

"Leave them alone!" A voice cried out. Spiky brown hair...over sized key...why, its Sora!

"Sora san!" I said, running up and hugging him.

"Ah!" Sora's muffled cry came out.

"You can't hug him! We're against him!" Reminded Brittney. I let go.

"You're with that one Axel guy, aren't you?" Sora asked.

"What was your first clue?" Ketari asked, pointing to our cloaks.

"Eep!" I let out my trademark little scream as I dodged another one of Sephiroth's attacks (he had gotten his sword back, after all)

"I told you to leave them alone!" Sora shouted again. "I thought I defeated you!"

"Well," Sephiroth said. "I've never seen you in my life. But there are people dressed like these two, walking around all the time like they own this place!"

"So I guess I just have to defeat you again!" Sora pulled his keyblade into fighting stance.

"I think it's time for us to leave...taa, Sora-san!" I said, waving happily, not wanting to stay for the battle.

"Our highest Thanks for saving us!" Ketari waved also as we ran out of the stadium. And right into Vexen.

"Hi Vexen-sama!" I gleefully stated, giving him a quick hug.

"Let me go." Was all he said. I obeyed, knowing my hugging had gotten us into enough trouble today. "Marluxia's going to kill you for talking to Sora...and for leaving unsupervised!"

"We're not babies you know, we can take care of ourselves..."

"Really? It didn't seem that when you were in the stadium..."

"You were watching! Why didn't you save us? Why do you only come and save us now!" Ketari complained.

"Because" Vexen began. "One, Marluxia would have my head if I lost you guys, and two, you were interfering with Sora."

"So? A little hug couldn't hurt any-..." I stopped myself short, realizing hugs could hurt people, if used in the wrong situations.

Vexen flashed the whole card thing and we were back in Castle Oblivion in no time. "Marluxia's ready to have you work, girls. He want's you to start-"

"Actually, Vexen, we have something else to do." Ketari said. I looked at her, and she just shrugged her shoulders.

"We assume you've never had a home cooked dinner her at Castle Oblivion. So, naturally, we're going to cook you something genuinely special." Ketari suggested.

"Don't try to get out of work!" Vexen warned, scowling.

"Us?" I asked innocently in my I'm-a-blonde-and-I-can't-even-think-simple-thoughts voice. "Escape work? Never!"

Ketari then grabbed me by the arm and dragged me by the arm before Vexen could complain any further.


End file.
